Corse-Watson Principia Scatologica  By  W. Bruce Watson
Corse-Watson Principia Scatologica

Principal #1-Fecus Exponentiatus: One dog will produce 'n' piles/day; 2 dogs, '4n' piles/day, ...

Principal #2-Canus Heisenbergus: For any whimsically small interval of time, it is not possible to simultaneously have a dog and a back yard free of dog poop.

Principal #3-Transmutatus Ad Libitum: a dog can arbitrarily excrete a greater mass of poop than can be accounted for by diet alone or by any conventional theory of input/output.

Principal #4-Extractus Moribundus: No elaborate contrivance not specifically designed for poop removal, whether motorized as in the case of a lawn mower, or manually operated as in the case of a weed whacker or a simple stick, is of any practical use in the removal of dog poop.

Principal #5-Pedes Malus Adfectus: Dog excrement cannot be successfully removed from the bottom of one shoe by means of the other shoe.

Principal #6-Perfidus cum Fecus: When taken for a walk, a dog will defecate at the worst possible moment.

Principal #7-Fecus Semper Fides: Dog poop possesses a geologic halflife.

Principal #8-Perfidusimus cum Fecus: When not taken for a walk, a dog will defecate at the worst possible opportunity.

Principal #9-Odorifera Non Solor Interior: It is not possible to quickly mask the odor of dog excrement in the house especially just before important company arrives.
The truth is, after much furrowing of brow, I can't think of anything to say by way of preface to my blog. Along the way I wondered what it's purpose might be and maybe I should say a few words about that and would, except that I don't know what its purpose is, or could be, or should be. I only know that my clock is winding down and I'm so desperate to have my mind known that I could just spit! Maybe my blog could be about that. But how depressing and pretentious that could be! But hold on a second, maybe not—my therapist commented the other day how in late adulthood (AKA elder years), one is forced to deal with the sense of loss, all the time, it's always there, and it's painful, it takes great faith to live on even though one knows it's going to end and that whatever they accomplish, if anything, is not going to matter all that much. How does one find meaning or a sense of fulfillment in life knowing that it’s coming to an end? Psychologists have not written much about this if anything. It's sort of an unexamined part of adult life. It takes a lot of self-discipline to function in spite of this sense of loss—it's so easy to give up on the constant struggle, on life. A lot of people do—drinking, TV, drugs, electrosex, So, if you'll bear with me, let us examine this unexamined part of adult life.
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